my life

Has way too many connections to Toledo, given that it's the fourth-most populous city in a state that I really don't like. I mean, it's not like these things are totally unique to me. But the name comes up an awful lot. First off, there's John Denver's EPIC ode to this bustling city, of which my mother is fan. Each year, my father and I always end up watching a UToledo game, it would seem. And for those not in the know, the Rockets are not a hugely significant team. Finally, the cookware company for whom I sell is based (and was founded) in Toledo. (The other day, I was using the fact that some of our pieces are manufactured there as a selling point to some people who didn't want China-made stuff, and this guy didn't even know where Toledo was. And I quote, "Where is that, somewhere in Asia?" Geez, people. KNOW THE MINOR CITIES IN YOUR COUNTRY)
All I'm saying is, that's a lot of Toledo.

You know how you know that you pay way too close of attention to movies? When you hear a song, and, whether you know it or not, your first thought is, "Wait, what movie was this in?" I do this all the time at work, as we have the radio on and I'm exposed to music that I don't usually hear. I don't voice this often, though. Don't want to appear too dorktastic.

I am a terrible hypocrite. I very often end up talking to people with low self-esteem, trying to compell them to believe that they are not what they think they are, or are what they think they're not. And yet, here I am, with little self-esteem myself. Recently, an adult friend of my mother's has expressed that she's of the opinion that I'm a handsome guy, in a very unbidden, easily-believable-for-normal-people-as-a-legitimate-compliment kind of way. I can hear that, and mentally internalize it. I can believe that she means it. But I can't actually feel that way about myself. I'm not saying I want a pity party. I'm saying I know how these people feel, but I persevere trying to raise their opinions of themselves. Ultimately, though, I accomplish little. Or at least it seems that way.
Somebody, please figure out how words or deeds can fix people broken like us. I don't claim to know the true depths of these issues. But I've delved a bit. It sucks. More than feeling better myself, I want to know how to reach the souls of the ones I care about, and lift them up.

Sorry to be a downer. But sometimes you gotta deal with some REAL TALK.